Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Your penis caused this!
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
