This girl is more easily done than said...
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
