He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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