So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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