I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I feel like abortions should bother me more
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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