If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
