Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
