Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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