is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
ugly people sure do ruin things
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
