I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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