so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
