Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Randomize
