I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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