I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
