see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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