can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
