I'm so fucking centered right now
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
two words...techno handjob
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
