Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
