The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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