oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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