FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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