another moral hangover. fuck.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
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