i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
