yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
