There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Of course I have a pirate flag
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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