this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
