is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
