Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
