I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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