Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
i think i have herpe
just one?
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize
