He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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