I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
