I think I died a long time ago.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
