It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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