I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Randomize
