I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
