I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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