there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Randomize
