i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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