whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
As shirtless as possible
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
