YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
