I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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