Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
false alarm, still single
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize