I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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