awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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