in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I'm always down for nudity.
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