at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
