Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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