are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
My breasts were aching with rage.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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