Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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