Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
