You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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