Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
