i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Randomize
