it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
either way he was missing a nipple.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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