so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
