Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
it hurts more in the daytime
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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