How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
