I didn't shave. On purpose
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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