i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
