You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
