the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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