ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
