I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heโs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Oh and itโs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ๐๐๐๐ฌ๐ณ๐
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize